Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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