Soap is not a condiment
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
