Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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