are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
