I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
