We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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