i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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