I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
