I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
