It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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