they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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