I love black thongs
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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