I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
