she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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