Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
