you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
