I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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