My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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