Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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