I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
