I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
