I think I am morally bankrupt
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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