If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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