I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
