Whoa Z and x make the same sound
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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