I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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