does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize