so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
