That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
