just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
