I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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