we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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