New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
