Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
