We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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