I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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