That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
