hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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