moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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