the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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