My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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