I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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