the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
3pm strippers are depressing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
