Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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