My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
