how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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