it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
