Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
