I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
