You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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