i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
