If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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