But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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