I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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