At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
